A Rough Week

We had a rough week at the Wink house this week. It started on Tuesday after I dropped off Isabelle for her 1st day of school. I went to the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to see how many follicles had been produced in this months cycle. I was aggravated to find out that we only have one follicle again this month. The first two months that I was on fertility meds I was producing 3 to 4 follicles per month which greatly increases the chances of me getting pregnant. The Clomid worked great in that it gave me a bunch of follicles but it started to decrease my uterine lining (common side effect) which has to be a certain thickness to make a pregnancy stick. The thinning of the lining made the doctor switch me to another drug called Femara. I have know been on the drug for 2 months and it has been absolutely worthless to me. It has a reputation of being a much better drug that the Clomid but for some reason it didn't work for me. So Tuesday the nurse said that if I do not get pregnant this month then we are going to have to switch to injectables. She also gave me the heads up that injectables are $1,000 a month! That would be on top of the Ovidrel, Femara and the IUI that I have already been paying for out of pocket. We are now looking at spending about $1600 a month! I really, really, really hope this is our month. I cannot even describe to you how incredibly frustrated and emotional I am right now. I have so many questions, doubts, worries, mixed emotions, and anxiety that I cannot even see straight. I just have to put it in the Lords hands (which is incredibly hard to do), and know that there is a plan. I just wish that I had the secret decoder ring to know what that plan is....

On Wednesday Dave had to take Tootsie, our dog, to the city pound. It has been a struggle for both Dave and I the past couple of weeks deciding what to do with her. She tore her ACL last year on one of her hind legs and it was going to cost of between $2,000- $2500 to fix it. We could not afford to do that, but read that usually once one goes out the other one will be soon to follow. When we returned back from vacation in July we noticed that Tootsie was acting a lot different. She was not at all active and just laid around the house. Then we started to see more signs of her slowly worsening condition her hind legs started to loose muslce mass from not using them, she would jump up to chase things and start to wimper in pain, and one day she even fell down the stairs. It was time for us to do something for her and our best choice was take her to the city becuase they have animal advocacy groups that come in to try and take care of the animals. Dave and I are hoping that she was rescued and taken care of by one of the groups. We were not sure how Isabelle would feel so we decided that we wouldn't tell her anything at all until she asked. When Dave got home from dropping of Toots he cleared out all of Tootsie stuff so not to draw attention to the situation. Two days later she finally noticed, and I am not even sure she would have if I didn't point it out. We were looking for something for lunch and she said asked if she could feed Tootsie and I told her no. Later I told her that Tootsie was gone, that Daddy had to take her to the doctor and she didn't believe me. She started to laugh and thought that I was joking with her. It took me about 5 minutes to convince her that I was not joking and that Toots was not coming back, I though she would be sad but the first thing she said was "can we get a cat". Apparently I don't have to worry about her being upset, well other than the fact that I said no to the cat.